A New Leaf
37 days has passed since I wrote last and a lot has changed since then. To begin with, my last post was about the song from upcoming movie Padmavati which had become my repeat song on Wynk and 37 days has been very tough for the movie and its makers which seems to be doing major rounds in controversies.
A more serious and life changing experience which caused the gap from social media and my life per se? I am happy to share that my little sister got married to an awesome guy of her dreams. Planning a wedding can be tough. Ask me, I know it. Not that my sister is a bridezilla but I have to say that if you have a little sister and you are planning the events which would make her very happy then forget about other things for a while or else you will be like me, running on 5 horses at a time. Eventually I realized that I need to give her maximum focus or else I will not be able to do the things I finally was able to do.
The whole wedding was actually a dream come true, outsource with some unpleasant experiences but overall a good fun. The time when entire family and closest of friends come together to celebrate your occasion. As I always say that I am blessed in friends zone and once again I saw it all from my own eyes. At any moment, I did not feel that I had to do it all myself thanks to my angels in disguise.
And if you know about Indian weddings then you would know about widai ceremony where the bride’s family is bidding good bye’s to the girl and this moment is capable of making all family members cry. I did not cry until the moment I saw her sitting in the car with her husband, something shifted in me. I cant really explain the feeling but I felt my small baby has grown up and is ready to embark on a new journey of her life. I was happy for her and at the same time I had this feeling that something very special is going away from me and I am actually happy for this. Strange feelings they were!
5 days have gone since she got married.
Now, after 5 days I got the will to sit on my desk and write to you. I lighted some incense candle, made myself a cup of honey chamomile green tea and soaked the moment of feeling the connection with my desk before I started writing.
I have to admit that this time has not been easy on me. I missed her presence in the house, I missed taking care of her as now I know she has someone who takes care of her like I do and more than everything I think I miss myself. Its funny that 6 months back when she shifted from Bangalore to Delhi to stay with us, I cribbed so much that she is making my room messy with her stuff, she does not give me time to relax with my books at night, she keeps talking when I want to just write and these last 5 days, I felt so uneasy with my back to normal room, no noise and so much peaceful time but no will to read or write. I felt like I don’t know why I should do any of these? What is my motive?
So a story- 6 years ago when I moved to Delhi, my life got attached to my sister’s. Everyone is my family made me feel that my life choices can affect her chance of meeting and getting married to a nice guy and a nice family. Since then, it became like the most important urge to see her happily married. Hence, naturally all my life aims started to look like this: “I will do this after she gets married”, “I will travel to that place after she gets married”, “I will tell parents after she gets married” etc.
Now that she is married – what now?
Mr Hanson told me that “Its awesome- you have a clean slate to write.”
So, GO NUTS. Shall we?
Wish me luck as I start a new chapter of MY life.